FORT WORTH, TX – Rejected the technology as a flash in the pan and was doomed to fail, cryptocurrency man Tim Blankenship told reporters on Friday that he prefers to invest in a traditional stock market that he also does not understand. “Call me old-fashioned, but I would much rather rely on my life savings with a more proven and confusing and opaque system that can drastically increase or decrease in value according to forces far beyond my comprehension,” said Blankenship, adding that investing in crypto entailed all sorts of risks that the stock market did not, or perhaps actually was, he was not sure about. “I know crypto is supposed to be the big new disruptive thing, but it’s my future pension we’re talking about, and I do not want to leave it to anything new, I do not grasp the first thing when I can relax by knowing that my money is tied to some old stuff I also do not grasp the first thing. I still can not follow what these crypto guys on Reddit say, and therefore I stick to investing according to what some stock guys on Reddit say, as I can not follow it both ways. Plus, I do not want to follow the mystifying trends that affect crypto and lose all my money, as I could just as easily not keep up with the mystifying trends that affect S&P or NASDAQ and lose all my money. “At press time, Blankenship had decided to invest his money in online blackjack, as he at least understood how it worked.