The other day I got mad …
I had piled some dirty tea towels up in the kitchen and asked Alex to throw them in the washing machine. (I usually do, but I was in a hurry.) Of course he said yes. But that night they were still there. The next morning there was the pile. That night: you know the exercise. My thought process? I always wash the tea towels! Why does he keep forgetting? Does he not even care about me ?! In my mind, I walked strangely in bats over it.
The next morning, while working on my laptop next to the towels mentioned, I noticed this comment from a reader named Elizabeth:
At my bridal bath, guests were asked to write a piece of advice down to me, the bride. A card, written by ‘anonymous’, just said,’ Remember you’re annoying too. My first instinct was to think, What? How could they? but that has been the best advice I have received! Every time I wonder why my husband does something or I get annoyed with him, I remember that he has had lots of moments where he thinks / feels the same way towards me. ”
What a light bulb moment! Because even though Alex can forget things like tea towels, there are so many things about me that must drive him crazy. I have misophonia, so certain small sounds scare me; I sleep diagonally in bed; and I’m the world’s worst chef (last year’s pumpkin pie was somehow full of scrambled eggs?). But at the end of the day he loves me, I love him, the towels disappeared the third morning and as they say, it all comes out in the sink.
Thank you, Elizabeth, for this great reminder. And I’m curious – what other precautionary measures have worked for you?
PS What does marriage mean and what makes you crazy about your partner?
(Photos by Barack Obama / Instagram, NBD.)