DEAR ABBY: My husband of 42 years would move to the Northwest. We originally fell in love with it and lived there for four years. I found work, made friends and enjoyed myself incredibly much.
My husband kept traveling back to Southern California to work and decided he would no longer live in the North. I protested, but he would not hear it, so we moved down again.
Now, after the pandemic year and having lived in our home less than two years, he wants to move back to the Northwest because “it’s too hot, too crowded, etc. here.”
I gave him my opinion and a huge fight ensued. I would never move back south, but he insisted warlike. I’m not sure what to think anymore. Some suggestions?
NORD VS. SOUTH
DEAR N. VS. S .: It looks like your husband is ruling.
Moving is challenging, especially if you are stuck with the responsibility of packing your household together. Honestly, I’m more concerned about the fact that he’s not willing to listen to your concerns than about the hassle, but after all these years, I’m not sure it can be resolved.
On the plus side, you said you “loved” living in the Northwest, found work you enjoyed, and made friends. If you return to the area where you lived, you may be able to renew these conditions, so concentrate on the positive. If your husband flip-flops again, then you can decide if you want to stay separately at the place of your choice.
DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with a player in our weekly golf group. He is not vaccinated and will not wear a mask.
Our group is mostly older players, who all share golf carts. Everyone in the group has been vaccinated except this one person.
As a group coordinator, I arrange foursomes every week. Several of the players have told me that they do not want to share a cart with the unvaccinated person. In some cases, they have paid extra car costs to avoid driving with him.
As you can imagine, it becomes a problem for me to try to put the groups together every week. How should I handle this?
SPORTSMAN IN ARIZONA
DEAR SPORTSMAN: Examine the whole group about how they feel about driving with an unvaccinated person. If the majority of players are uncomfortable sharing a wagon with him, tell him that he will have to reserve his own wagon and drive solo if he wants to continue joining the group.
If this works hard, those members who do not mind riding with him – if there are enough of them – might agree to ride with him permanently. You do not know unless you ask.
TO MY READERS: The eight days of the Jewish holiday Hanukkah begin at sunset. (Very early this year!) Happy Hanukkah, everyone! A happy candlelight vigil for all of us.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.