Square Enix writers explain why they will never put The Coward Marlin in a ‘Kingdom Hearts’ game

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Readers, get ready for some game insight because the Square Enix writers behind the hit Kingdom hearts the series has just given us an exclusive interview about why they will never include the coward, the clownfish Marlin, in their game.

“It’s always been our goal to integrate Disney and Pixar characters into the series in ways that are not only unexpected but also fun for gamers, which is why we never bring that shitfish into our universe,” the series author Akemi Tanaka told OGN, confirming that the “chicken-shit slut who almost ruins her poor son’s life,” stated by Albert Brooks in the hit movie Finding Nemo, would never get the chance for so much as meeting Sora and his friends. “Our insistence on this point has caused some tension with Disney brass, especially after Finding Dory come out. But what the hell are they going to do? This is our choice and I would rather die than watch the insidious asshole interact with Sora, Goofy and the rest of the gang. “

According to Square Enix, the studio had some preliminary conversations with Disney CEO Bob Iger, including the “relax-dicked candy ass clownfish” in Kingdom Hearts III, which specifically suggests that they could put the fish’s severed head on a tip or include him in the Kingdom of Darkness, who was tortured by the heartless for being such a “little bitch baby” that he could not take his own son to school.

“Ultimately, we decided that even referring to the small waste of space would in any way be too discouraging for writers and designers to work on,” Tanaka continued. “Disney was not happy, but we all threatened to go out, so they did not have much choice.”

“Fuck that fucking fish,” Tanaka added. “Sorry, I’m getting angry just thinking about him.”

Wow! Keep checking out OGN for more of this kind of exclusive behind-the-scenes insight into the game.

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