Investigation: Dolphins are somehow not the saddest or most miserable NFL team

Miami Dolphins fans should jump for joy. Not only do they live where other fans are vacationing, but they are also heading into tonight’s Monday Night Football showdown with the New Orleans Saints on a six-game winning streak.

But according to a new survey among more than 2,000 NFL fans across the country of the sports betting side Lines, Dolphins fans are a complicated and worn out bunch.

The study aimed to determine which of the 32 NFL teams has the saddest and most miserable fans, and found that Miami Dolphins fans were only the 27th saddest – or the sixth-happiest, depending on whether you are half full or half-empty fan. Fans were specifically asked if they would cry after a match. Dallas Cowboys fans, followed by Patriots fans, proved to be the most likely to cry, which, we must admit, track.

To determine our position, Lines surveyed 2,008 NFL fans in November 2021 – so smad-dab in the middle of the Dolphins’ current winning streak and not during their 1-7 start to the season, for those who score at home – and asked them, whether they’ve ever been emotionally upset while watching an NFL game. The average age of the surveyed fans was 37 years, ie. fans, born around 1984, the last time the Dolphins appeared in a Super Bowl.

Clearly, Lines did not understand the kind of masochistic person who would still identify as a Dolphins fan when they dared to ask if they felt any emotion at all after year after year of disappointment and anxiety. “Win a Big Game” was one of the listed reasons a fan could shed a tear. Dolphins fans are guaranteed to report back if they ever find out.

The survey also asked questions to find out which fan base was the NFL’s most miserable, and Dolphins fans became number 14. The middle finish is appropriate, as Dolphins fans are most miserable after decades of their teams finishing the season as a middle team. Not good, not bad, just forgettable.

Detroit Lions fans and Cleveland Browns fans turned out to be the most miserable.

However, we are sure that if more fans were surveyed, Dolphins fans would have done better. And by better we mean worse.

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