The Big Apple fortune tellers gave skinny in 2022 to The Post’s Dean Balsamin, which challenged the talented narrators to reveal the future on topics of crucial importance to our insatiably curious readership: Will Cats Talk, UFOs and Jets.
Post: UFOs: When do they land, what will the aliens look like, and will they eat us?
Highbridge, Bronx clairvoyant Yolanda Shoshana: UFOs will land in Times Square in November around Thanksgiving. The UFOs will look like a Krispy Kreme donut … The attackers are not going to eat us, but plan to set phasers to ‘girl out’ for a little family style at Carmine.
Post: My computer speaks to me in English, but my cat does not. Will she finally get it under control?
Shoshana: “Absolutely not. The cat is its own creature and will talk to you if it’s ever ready. You may need to learn your cat’s language. It’s not a question of her getting it right. It’s the cat that has control. ”
Post: Inflation: at the end of the year, which of these items will be the most expensive? A bagel with lox; and 12-ounce bottle of maple syrup, and 2022 Chevrolet Spark?
Shoshana: A bagel and lox at a luxury hotel will give the Spark a run for its money – but you still have to spend a few bucks on the reels.
Post: Will Meghan Markle go for a hat trick?
Shoshana: No more babies. Her shop is closed. She is ready to return to work in the entertainment industry. I see her producing something other than children. ”
Post: Will Natalie Woods murder be solved?
Soho clairvoyant Elaine Nicholas, 73: They could not figure out the first or third or fifth year. They will not find out now.
Post: Will Princes William and Harry heal their royal relationship?
Nicholas: It will not stick. They talk along the way – at a big gathering. They do not have to love each other. They just have to say hello.
Post: Which sports team in New York gets the best season this year?
Shoshana: The Mets will be the city toast with 92 wins, but things fall apart in the playoffs. They will lose in the National League Championship Series. The Jets will remain pathetic but win 6 games. It’s a start.
Post: Will the Feds find a hidden fortune belonging convicted socialite Ghislaine Maxwell?
West Village astrologer Karen Thorne, 76: Yes! The money will be found hidden in vaults under Gucci’s in Rome.
Post: How will Mayor Eric Adams play on Broadway?
Nicholas: New Yorkers will respect and like Mayor Adams, and he will be good – and lucky.
Post: What’s in store for former President Donald Trump?
Shoshana: He’s coming up with a big announcement in March. He is on a new vegan diet and is coming out with a new vegan cookbook.