Well, at least it must have been some wonderful months of freedom. As Seth Meyers returned to his Late night host assignments on Monday, viewers were once again treated to a tour of Meyer’s family reading material and interior design as the host found himself in self-imposed COVID exile. After being tested positive for the latest hoarse virus variant last week, Meyers was forced to drop several shows, and while Meyers assured everyone that he never had any symptoms of Omicron, Delta or the Greek letter to be called COVID (thanks to being sensibly vaccinated and boosted), Monday Late night saw Meyer remotely broadcast once more. (Set with a visit from old Sea Captain painting that may or may not be a fabrication of Meyers’ locked imagination.)
And while Meyer was reluctant to be grateful that he was not forced to do his show late from 6 p.m. his in-laws’ house or the attic space with all the wasps he certainly seemed all over when it came to interviews with celebrities from a photogenically tidy living space. “It’s not good that we’re getting good at doing our show outside the studio because a virus is running amok,” remarked Meyers, who nevertheless took advantage of the lack of an audience (and perhaps his staff’s rising influence) to roll his enthusiastically awful Al Pacino impression forward. Twice. Cabin fever is very real, folks.
Regardless of the entire global pandemic that Republicans continue to prolong by rushing into the arms of any quack and bloviating meat head sell fake “miracle cures” (this week it’s literally drink your own pee), the show must continue. “Where was I now?”, Meyers continued after five minutes of self-ironic home-shtick, before sadly remembering to talk about Ted Cruz. In his A Closer Look segment, Meyers actually had to address the fact that the Texas senator and noted political bottom had once again humiliated himself on national television. (And here it should be emphasized that no one is kink-shaming. It’s just that if you’re going to be bullied in public, it probably will not make you happy in America if it’s Fox News fishing rod heir and authoritarian cock Tucker Carlson whizzes .)
Recalling how Cruz has memorably and repeatedly revealed himself as the GOP’s demolition container (as at the time he campaigned for Donald Trump after the former president and alleged fetish-flicker Trump publicly and personally mocked both Cruz’s wife and father), Meyers had to give it up to Cruz for a moment to forget his place and dared to call the 2020 uprising of Trump’s henchmen a “terrorist attack.” And then Meyers immediately took it back by showing clips of Cruz, who shame-shuffles on Fox to get his blushing face rubbed into the carpet of Carlson, whose staff (who obviously like to watch) even whipped a little chyron-based mock-tops up to the apartment. (“Cruz’ing for a bruising,” Carlson read on screen graphics, perhaps out of respect for his guest’s masochistic inclination.)
Meyers held Cruz as a symbol of today’s still Trump-worshiping GOP, concluding: “This is the core of modern GOP politics. You have to prove to the base that you have no dignity, that you are willing to humble yourself even for them, and that there is nothing too pathetic for you to do to win their favor. ” And if Ohio legislator, fellow fascist bootlicker, and multiple accused coward in light of the violent sexual abuse, Jim Jordan comes after Cruz’s sack-scented sack by suddenly refusing to cooperate with the committee investigating the January 6 uprising (after previously claiming he had nothing to hide), Meyers was not ready to release Cruz from his favorite whip post yet.