Valerie Bertinelli, 61, opens up about her tumultuous relationship with ‘soulmate’ Eddie Van Halen

Valerie Bertinelli has opened up about her tumultuous relationship with her ‘soulmate’ Eddie Van Halen and said that she and her ex-husband had reached ‘a beautiful place’ before he died.

The Food Network host was 21 when she married the legendary guitarist in 1981, a year after they had met. They were married for 26 years and remained close after their divorce in 2007.

Bertinelli, 61, and their son, Wolfgang, 30, were both by his side when he died at the age of 65 of cancer in October 2020. Van Halen’s second wife, Janie Liszewski, and his brother, Alex Van Halen were also there. .

“We also went through a hell,” she told Hoda Kotb about their relationship on the Today show on Tuesday. ‘We were not really good at each other at many points in our lives because we met so young and were very immature.’

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Valerie Bertinelli reflected on her 26-year marriage to her ex-husband Eddie Van Halen during an interview on the Today show on Tuesday, saying they 'went through hell'

Valerie Bertinelli reflected on her 26-year marriage to her ex-husband Eddie Van Halen during an interview on the Today show on Tuesday, saying they ‘went through hell’

The Food Network host was 21 when she married the legendary guitarist in 1981 (pictured that year), and they remained close after their divorce in 2007.

The Food Network host was 21 when she married the legendary guitarist in 1981 (pictured that year), and they remained close after their divorce in 2007.

“But I’m so glad we were able to get to a beautiful place at the end of his life,” she added. “I wish he was still here.”

Bertinelli, who applied for a legal separation from her second husband, Tom Vitale, in November, said she considers Van Halen to be one of her soulmates.

“I think soulmates, I think we have more than just one,” she explained. ‘I think Wolfie is partly my soulmate. When I think of soulmate, I think of souls who come here to experience this life on Earth together again and get to a higher place.

‘I certainly know it was part of Ed. I loved his soul deeply. ‘

Bertinelli explained that they 'were not really good at each other' at times in their relationship because they 'met so young and were very immature'

Bertinelli explained that they ‘were not really good at each other’ at times in their relationship because they ‘met so young and were very immature’

The actress noted that she and Van Halen (pictured together in 1996), who both married other people after their divorce, ‘were able to get to a beautiful place at the end of their lives’

Bertinelli wrote about her journey to self-acceptance, as well as her last moments with her ex-husband before his death, in his new book, ‘Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today’, which was published on Tuesday.

“I love you are the last words Ed says to Wolfie and me, and those are the last words we say to him before he stops breathing,” she remembered.

“The love we’ve always had for each other proved to be stronger and more resilient than anything else,” she added. ‘We chose to remain friends and family.’

While talking to Kotb, Bertinelli explained that she had no plans to write about her grief over Van Halen’s death, but it was inevitable.

Bertinelli wrote about his last moments with Van Halen in his book 'Enough Everything: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today'

Bertinelli wrote about his last moments with Van Halen in his book ‘Enough Everything: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today’

Bertinelli and their son, Wolfgang, 30, (pictured) were both by his side when he died at the age of 65 of cancer in October 2020. Van Halen's second wife, Janie Liszewski, was also there.

Bertinelli and their son, Wolfgang, 30, (pictured) were both by his side when he died at the age of 65 of cancer in October 2020. Van Halen’s second wife, Janie Liszewski, was also there.

'I love you are the last words Ed says to Wolfie and me, and those are the last words we say to him before he stops breathing,' she wrote in her new book, published Tuesday.

‘I love you are the last words Ed says to Wolfie and me, and those are the last words we say to him before he stops breathing,’ she wrote in her new book, published Tuesday.

‘When I wrote it and when I did, it was very discouraging to go through it. I was not going to write a book that had all that sadness in it, she said.

‘It was about joy, [but] if I left that part out, it would not show you the way to joy and how to find it, even through the depths of the greatest sorrow you can feel. ‘

Bertinelli noted that grief is something that many people can relate to almost two years inside the COVID-19 pandemic.

‘I know many people have felt it all over the country and around the world. We have all dealt with a lot of grief the last few years, ‘she explained.

‘At first it felt very raw and vulnerable to write about it, but I thought it was true. It was real, and it was something I wanted to express about love, and how love is just so important to remember, even when going through all the pain. ‘

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