I think I know why he left his hat in my car

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I hang out with my friend, he leaves random things in my car.

Harriette Cole

A month ago it was his glasses and today he told me he left his hat in my car. I had not seen it because it was on my back seat – which is strange because he was never on my back seat.

I will not give his hat back because I think he does it on purpose so he gets an excuse to hang out again. If he wanted to hang out, he could just say it. I do not appreciate being cheated.

Should I say something about this?

Feeling cheated

DEAR YOU FEEL BEING: Think of your friend. Is he shy? Does he seem timid around you at all? Could he secretly like you and be uncomfortable expressing it?

More important: Do you like him? Is there any potential for sparks from your perspective? If so, you can playfully ask him why he keeps leaving things in your car. You can confront him with it with a pleasant, inviting approach.

If you are not interested in him, you can confront him more sharply. Ask him directly why he keeps leaving things in your car. Tell him he can get his hat on every time you see him again, but right now you’re busy.


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