Dear Abby: The bride says that my boyfriend has been invited, but I’m not

DEAR ABBY: I’m engaged to “George”, a wonderful man who has grown children.

Jeanne Phillips

He and his ex went through a bitter divorce several years ago. His children mainly blame him, but he still tries to maintain the relationship with them.

The two younger ones seem to have accepted it over time. However, his eldest daughter is very close to her mother and still bitter.

She is getting married and has expressed to him that she does not want him to have guests with her. George and I have been living together for the past year and it was never a secret that we were lovers before then.

I do not know how to feel this. I have no relationship with his children, but I want to be there. How should I deal with this?


DEAR EXTERIOR: In plain English. Ask George how he feels about being expected to go unaccompanied to his daughter’s wedding in light of the fact that he has lived with you for a year. (Is he expected to attend?)

When you do, point out to your fiancé that if his daughter is allowed to dictate this, it will only be the beginning, for there will be other milestones from which you are also excluded.

DEAR ABBY: I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for decades, but I am finally on a medication that works for me. I’m in my 40s and feeling emotionally stable for the first time in my adult life.

When I started on the medication, I was in a bad place, but after a few months, I broke up with my partner and started focusing on my career.

It’s been a couple of years now and I have no sex drive at all. I’ve wanted to start dating again, but even if I meet someone, I doubt my libido will return while I’m on this medication, which would be unfair to the other person. I’m afraid my choice is between future relationships and my mental health.

My doctor offered to add another drug that could help, but it took so long to find something that works that I will not start experimenting again. Can you give some advice?


DEAR GOT: I’m glad to know that after so many trials and errors, you have finally found a medicine that has given you the opportunity to get your life back. I encourage you to listen to your doctor. If your doctor thinks there is something that can help, try it.

If it interferes with the steps you have taken, you can always stop. But please do not deprive yourself of the opportunity to live a more fulfilling life.

DEAR READER: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing the traditional prayer written by my dear deceased mother:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank you for the food and remember the hungry.

We thank You for your health and remember the sick.

We thank you for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank You for your freedom and remember those slaves.

May these memories encourage us to serve,

That your gifts to us can be used for others.


Have a happy and safe party, everyone!

Dear, ABBY

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.


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